What ISN’T Emo?

I’ve done what I could to protect the integrity of the word epic. Today I pass that baton to The Animanachronism and In Search of Number Nine, who substantiate their arguments through literary authority and philosophical discourse instead of linking to themselves. My half-assed crusade to redefine corrupted internet memes now shifts to a new target: emo.

I don’t get what this whole emo thing is all about. A recent post on Riuva did an interesting job explaining what emo is but neglected to clarify the term’s true source of confusion: what emo isn’t. Emotional is emo. Unemotional is emo. A reasonable balance between emotion and detachment is emo. Code Geass is emo. True Tears is emo. Guts and Griffith? Emo and emoer. What the hell ISN’T emo?

Case in point: Sasuke. Is he not the ultimate badass?

  • Doesn’t care about friendship
  • Asexual
  • Insults Naruto
  • Wants to kill his brother

You’d think everyone would love him, but nooooooooo, they all have to go and call him emo.

So Sasuke hates people and wants to beat up his brother. Big deal, so do I. It’s not like he wastes his life listening to shitty music and whining about how nobody understands him. If there’s any reason to call him emo, it’s that he never kills anyone. Stop “defeating” your enemies and seal the deal you emo pussy!

Non-lethal blows are so emo.

Naruto too, finish the job, lazy bastard. Stop making Kakashi do all the dirty work. Sakura, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing in that picture. You know what’s a great way to stop being useless? Killing people. Just look at Sai. There’s no way he’s emo.

Challenge: name one character who isn’t emo. I dare you.