Candy Boy vs. Golden Boy: An Objective Analysis

32 people love action. 33 people have taste. 42 perverts beat them out. Let’s get it on.

Candy Boy

VS.

Golden Boy

Round 1: Number of Episodes

Golden Boy: 6

Candy Boy: 7

Advantage: Candy Boy

Round 2: Lesbian to Non-Lesbian Ratio

Golden Boy: 0

Candy Boy: Infinity

Advantage: Candy Boy

Round 3: Non-pedophilia

Golden Boy: Rejects at least two underage girls

Candy Boy: They’re all underage

Advantage: Golden Boy

Round 4: Notes

Golden Boy: Kintaro’s notebook

Candy Boy: The note on door

Advantage: Draw

Round 5: Relevance of Title

Golden Boy: Describes the main character

Candy Boy: Nothing to do with boys, nothing to do with candy (at least literally)

Advantage: Golden Boy

Round 6: Likelihood of being incorrectly called Slice-of-Life

Golden Boy: Came before Lucky Star, therefore nobody would call it slice-of-life

Candy Boy: Can legitimately be called slice-of-life (“Nonchalant talk of the certain twin sisters in daily life”)

Advantage: Draw

Round 7: Anagrams


Golden Boy: Beyond Log, Nobody Gel, Nobody Leg, Bone Godly, Ebony Gold, Bygone Old, Oblong Dye, Bong Yodel, Bony Lodge, Boy Dongle

Candy Boy: Bandy Coy, Cyan Body

Advantage: Golden Boy

Round 8: Educational Value

Golden Boy: STUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDYSTUDY

Candy Boy: One girl studies math (useful), the other girl studies art (useless)

Advantage: Golden Boy

Round 9: Recurring Joke

Golden Boy: Toilet snuggling

Candy Boy: Cheek pinching

Advantage: Draw

Round 10: Manliness


Golden Boy: Leaves town forever without telling anyone (the manliest way to leave town)

Candy Boy: Has the girliest AMV songs in the universe (Every time we touch, Needing you, I don’t wanna be in love, 100 years, Slipping away, Don’t go breaking my heart, Good Morning Beautiful, I’m so in love with you)

Advantage: Golden Boy

Winner: Golden Boy (5-2-3)