90% of all betesticled anime characters look like girls. Many have six-pack abs yet act like complete pussies. Only one part of the body never lies: sideburns. In this dark age of androgyny and pedophilia, sideburns are the only reliable indicator of manliness. Thick, thin, long, short, neat, sloppy, straight, tapered—as long as you have [...]

Fresh off my victory against Raki, I mysteriously found myself in Yuko’s shop. Greeting me with a sultry smile, Yuko offered to grant my deepest darkest desires. I immediately asked for the one thing all men crave: a roast leg of lamb. When Yuko summoned Watanuki to cook it, Watanuki threw one of his usual [...]