Paper Flower is the Worst Blog Ever

Paper Flower has the worst banner I’ve ever seen in my life. First of all, it doesn’t have any dinosaurs. Second of all, the girl is carrying an umbrella even though it’s not raining. Third of all, it doesn’t say “Paper Flower” anywhere. Last time I checked, your blog was named Paper Flower, not Paper Hana. Somebody’s jealous of websites that can legitimately use kanji.

mefloraine, the author of Paper Flower, is too much of a coward to capitalize her name. She’s also a tsundere, as she can’t decide whether she obsessively follows me or just happens to like me a lot.

mefloraine always goes tsun tsun in her comments no matter how great my posts are. Look at what she wrote in my Queen’s Blade II post:

I’m not interested in watching boobies flying around for 20 minutes at a time.

Really? I just checked out Paper Dream, the project you recently founded to promote “beautiful and inspiring” artwork. You know what mefloraine finds beautiful and inspiring? Women. Every single picture she’s ever posted has a girl in it. Looks like you love boobies after all, you closet lesbian.

Some sideburns are just weird…actually, many sideburns are pretty weird. Especially in anime.

Definitely a lesbian.

mefloraine claims her site is about discussing art, but her true intentions can be found by rearranging the letters of p-a-p-e-r f-l-o-w-e-r:

  • rape per fowl
  • rape per wolf

So not only does mefloraine rape animals, she rapes them in evenly divided increments. You will not find a more sick, twisted person on the internet.

To summarize: mefloraine is a jealous tsundere lesbian rapist. That may sound awesome, but trust me, her website sucks, and you should never ever visit it. Her URL sucks too. What the hell is the “laxrec” in http://laxrec.wordpress.com/ supposed to mean?

By the way, she likes K-ON, the worst anime ever. Why am I not surprised…

On a completely unrelated note, I’ve been entered into an anime blog circle-jerk popularity contest. I have no idea who I’m up against, but regardless of who it is, I ask only that you look deep inside your soul and vote for the more deserving candidate.

117 people love sucking up to me

  1. Wow, I had no idea Paper Flower was such a terrible blog. You’ve done this blogosphere a great service… despite your poor grammar and spelling.

    On an unrelated note, I’ll vote for your blog… despite not knowing who you’re up against.

    • No, check out my competition before you vote. I won’t accept a hollow victory.

      Just to set the record straight, everything I write is in full compliance with the 15th edition of the Chicago Manual of Style. Plus, I got a 5 on the AP Language and Composition test back in 2002.

  2. Everything I’ve ever known has led me to believe that a “jealous tsundere lesbian rapist” would be the pinnacle of hotness. How does one resist against such temptatious powers?

  3. you gotta try harder if you wanna convince me not to vote for a tsundere lesbian rapist. i’m just kidding of course i’ll vote for ya, you blind manly pedophile-hating lesbian-loving dinosaur

  4. We knew it was coming. Once again Bakaraptor and (questionable) lesbians cross paths.

    PF is strong and equipped with (awesome) suggestive artwork, but not as strong as dinosaurs. But your final description almost got me for a second there.. then I hit the K-on part and that closed the deal. Also I hear s/he doesn’t like yandere. Who doesn’t like yandere.

    May the best dinosaur win even though I won’t know who you’re up against until I go vote.

  5. You know, I would’ve easily voted for you if you didn’t include the lesbian part. Now I have a hard time.
    In the end though, you’re just that awesome that I should go against my nature to vote for the blind dinosaur.

  6. And meantime, somewhere in the depths of galaxy someone types “rape per fowl”, a kitty dies and Paper Flower’s website shows up. :/
    There’s no way I’m gonna vote for a closet lesbian who rapes wolves. Just…no. Blind dinousaur’s OK though.

    • Both describe my site aptly. I am a pro at hitting arks with a baseball bat, and I’ve been known to set animal traps by tying bras to oak trees. Don’t worry though, once I trap an animal in the bra, I eat it. No rape.

      By the way, “sea slugs” is an anagram for “ass glues”. Better think of a good explanation in case we face off at some point.

  7. Oh man, if you’re up against a tsundere lesbian rapist, you’re doomed.

    On an unrelated note, I am not a tsundere lesbian rapist! I am not tsundere!

    By the way, I’m voting for you. It’s not like I want to or anything, your blog is just first alphabetically!

  8. >>By the way, she likes K-ON, the worst anime ever. Why am I not surprised…

    My options are a lesbian rapist (one of Digital Boy’s Top 10 Lesbian Combinations) and a guy who thinks K-On is the worst anime ever. If I hadn’t already voted for Baka-Raptor and tried to vote for him again before reading this post, I would have changed my vote!

  9. Would it be wrong to say that I’m a fan of tsundere rapists? Especially those that are lesbians? Even if my ex was one? Bestiality never hurt either.

  10. Wait ? Didn’t you like lesbians anymore, my dear ナルト-Raptor ?

    What this post (and all this comments) doesn’t explain is: why are you picking on the flower girl that badly ?

    PS: Voted twice, Definitionally for YOU 😉

  11. What the fuck is this bullshit Baka-Raptor? Is this just for that stupid contest? We already know that you’re gonna win. Also, if it’s the worst blog ever, it should be mine.

  12. Just saying, but that it does say “Paper Flower” on the banner. That symbol means flower in chinese, and “hana” in japanese. Yeah, just pointing that out. Other than that, I agree that Paper Flower is a retarded blog.

    -a huge fan of your blog

    P.S. Make more posts damnit

    • Sure, it means flower, but it doesn’t say flower. She has pictures of flowers too, but those don’t say flower either. She could put “Paper Fleur” on her blog for all I care. It still wouldn’t say flower, and it’d still suck, just like Marc-Andre Fleury.

  13. I have one beef with this pwnage post: Umbrellas were not meant to protect from rain.

    If haters gotta hate by definition, then umbrellas provide shade by definition. “umbra” means “shade”. Also, another name for umbrella is “parasol”, which literally translates into “stop sun”.

    So, in fact, the umbrella in the banner suggests an alliance with the forces of darkness and shady business groups from ANCIENT EUROPE.

  14. I have to agree with you on this one Baka-Raptor, Paper Flower is just a terrible blog. I read a few posts on there a few weeks ago and I have to say that they were too cut and dry. I was expecting more interesting content, but IMO I don’t think I will be going back there anytime soon.

  15. Because making a sleazy attack ad so you can win a circle-jerk popularity contest is more important than recovering your eyesight. Only Baka-raptor is that cunning.

  16. Forgive me for speaking out of line Baka-Raptor.

    But after venturing through mefloraine’s so called “Paper Dream” project it would appear that she in fact, prefers flat chested little girls. So her dislike of boobies every 20 minutes is not as unreasonable as you claim and the fact she likes K-ON reinforces it.

    And thus, your assumption about her being a ‘jealous tsundere lesbian rapist’ is inaccurate for she is really a ‘jealous tsundere lesbian pedophile who enjoys the act of rape’.

  17. I promised myself I wouldn’t never vote in this popularity contest, but I suck up to Baka-Raptor not to.

  18. I don’t read the internets for a few days and look what a gem of a post I missed. SIGHS!

    BTW find a good anagram for Jeremy Irons.

  19. No love for poor little meffy ;-;
    I have to admit though, that I laughed my ass off xD
    Rape per wolf… I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Poor wolves… On the other hand, it could be Wolf per rape O_O It’s a double-edged knife
    Anyways, I’ll vote for you even if that was the only post you had ever written, you won that vote~

    • The poll closed a few days ago. You are now contractually obligated to carry over your promised vote to the next poll, whenever it is, assuming I won this poll. I shall now go check for the first time ever.

      Holy shit, I was up against mefloraine? What a coincidence! I really kicked her ass!

  20. Hey Baka-Raptor!
    I bring some shocking evidence which further solidifies your theory!

    I knew that mefloraine’s banner image looked familiar, so I checked my porn stash, and yup.
    The image is from a softcore C77 doujin named Nijiiro Densho.
    You probably guessed this by know but, this doujin is full of naked or partially naked girls, and NO GUYS.

    You were completely right from the start, and I will never doubt your word again.

    http://www.mediafire.com/?no4hgcyohhk
    Here’s the link if you want to, you know *cough* “investigate”.

  21. you’re just that awesome that I should go against my nature to vote for the blind dinosaur.
    paper flower are uses in background.

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