Censored Comments: Round 1

It’s no secret that I censor comments. People who claim they’ll never censor comments under any circumstances are liars. At least I had the decency to warn you from Day 1. However, it’s occurred to me that none of my readers would have any idea what kinds of comments I’d censor unless they actually wrote one. Thus, I have decided to reveal to you a bunch of censored comments I’ve collected over the past year:

“What a dumb shit..”

“You are retarded! Your points reflect your lack of intelligence. Period.”

“YOU GUYS ARE RACIST TO INDIAN PEOPLE! FUCK THIS SITE, IM NEVER COMING BACK AND I WILL SPEAK BAD OF IT TO EVERYBODY!!!”

“-_- you are a racist, and where are the american people?(gringos) Dont speak like if you know those people
es estupido >:(“

“Suck dick. Batty man”

“STFU Nigger. Kyonko is a chick, and you wanna know why? Because she’s not real, therefore, she can be whatever the fuck we make her to be. So eat my dick, nigger. Fucking faggot, go climb a wall of dicks.”

“This Blog Is Fail. Nothing To See Here, Move Along.”

“Go troll elsewhere, faggot!”

“What a shit blog. Let me fuck your ash trays when you’re finished you filthy cocksucker.”

“Love how you have to moderate your comments. The true sign of a man who lacks genital augmentation.”

“this post is too large everything you set out to do fails miserably. // how to fail at life”

“You LOSE you Al-Qaeda fuck! Now I’m reporting you to the FBI. Prepare to be deported to Guantanamo Bay you ugly fuck!”

“Oh yeah, you link to maddox. Maddox is a fucking hero. You’re a nobody. Kill yourself. I guess you don’t know anything about maddox. HE FUCKING HATES ARABS! He hates all foreign culture. What I’m getting at is: he hates you, he hates anime, and he would only be happy if you killed yourself.”

“FIRST”

“Ur website looks horrid. What is that brown? Looks like same color as my shit. What’s with your fan art? I don’t want to burst ur bubble but I think their trolling you. Or maybe ur proud of having art with you fapping to gay pr0n?
In conclusion, clean ur shit up.”

Now for the real fun: try to guess which posts these comments were intended for. Answers go up in one week.

Finally, since I forgot to hold five days of free comments on my fifth year anniversary post, you’ll get five days of free comments now.


UPDATE: Screw you all. I was waiting patiently these past two weeks for comment #7777 to come up. This is what I got:

If U don’t Like One Piece, why do u fucking care about it then? I don’t care About Naruto, because I fuckin hate it! Even thought Luffy and the others can be stupid sometimes, I still love this show, it’s a part of my childhood (yeah, I started to watch One Piece Early..) And I can also say that the One Piece Manga is a year older than me, not many.. AND I’M SOON thirteen, think about that! the Naruto manga was drawed in 1997, BUT NOT MADE before 1998 or 1999.. But anyways; Naruto suck balls, it’s about a fuckin blone guy who has a ugly bestfriend and a pink freaking fangirl!! (and many others..) AND THE DRAWING SUCKS MORE THAN THE PLOT. The Manga is better, but it still suck.

Why OP is awesome;
-They are NOT overpowered like Naruto and Dragonball(Not that I hate DB) (even sometimes they are awesome overpowered..)
-The Plot has a meaning, and they are setting sail for the goal… (In Naruto they give up and start, and give up.. -.-)
-The drawings are really amazing, Oda-sensei did a good job on that one..
-Luffy are a awesome Main person, MUCH better than Naruto.

Ownage :333333

From; Me and My brother

My spam comment count is currently at 106,637. Majority wins.

UPDATE #2: The next comment I get after that:

Ahem…. India sucks? Really? I agree with the whole “Opal Mehta books suck” theory, but IMO, my country DOESN’T suck. There are many awesome writers in India, and the food is amazing, and our culture is amazing, and our Sanskar are great, and Bollywood movies ROCK, and ethnic wear is awesome too!! Maybe you’d like India if you actually lived here, instead of America where of course, people generalise Indians. It’s the same way people generalise Muslims, actually. Muslims aren’t bad people. Neither are Hindus, neither are Christians. It depends on an individual, and not the whole religion. Don’t you agree? And I’m sure u must have an Indian pal or something who u DON’T hate. Right?

PS: Don’t give me a wave of the F word now, that’ll just show that u don’t have enough brains to explain yourself.

Tags: , , , ,

74 people love sucking up to me

  1. feal87 says:

    I lol’d hard at these comments.
    +1 for Baka-Raptor! (and a thanks to all the haters too!)

  2. TRazor says:

    I know one – the “YOU ALL ARE RACIST…” one. It’s for the “Examination of Race in Anime”

    http://www.baka-raptor.com/2009/01/31/a-critical-examination-of-race-in-anime-part-i/

    I’m not sure if there’s a part two.

    The gringo comment might be for the same post or the Part II (if it exists).

  3. Glo says:

    lol….”Go climb a wall of dicks!” I think I’m going to use this phrase daily. That whole comment was so funny that I don’t think I’d ever censor it.

  4. Valence says:

    >thinly-veiled attempt that forces reader to not only dig through archives and read every article but their comments as well.

    This list of comments has really added to my vocabulary. I will now be using ‘go climb a wall of dicks’ daily.

    “Go climb a wall of dicks” – Synonyms: Go fuck yourself.
    Definition : To take back your words which seem ludicrous by forcing them back, much akin to actually climbing a wall of dismembered members.

  5. kluxorious says:

    dunno why you censored them in the first place. These are funneh.

  6. Digital Boy says:

    This actually makes me feel better about some of my troll comments! (I also moderate them)

    >>Fucking faggot, go climb a wall of dicks.

    Beautiful. I’m using this from now on.

  7. Chikorita157 says:

    All I have to say is that all these trolls are comedy gold.

    And happy April fools.

  8. Matt Wells says:

    I would literally die if I tried to smoke (Astmha), so could one of you fine gentlemen explain to me WHY fucking an ashtray would be pleasent? WHY does he wish to fuck your ashtrays, Baka Raptor? You’ve never given any indication you smoke that I know of.

    Come to think of it, how DOES one fuck an ashtray? I thought they were circular, shallow little discs made of glass or plastic. Not to get into semantics, but there’s no real orifice as such to fuck. Go fuck a trash dispenser, that I would understand, or even condone as an insult. Furthermore, if it is an insult, why would he want to have sex with the same ashtrays he implies you have sex with, especially when he uses it in a negative accusative?

    Keep up the good work sir. Your finely tempered sense of cynicism and refusal to take any matter of bullshit without serious recompense puts my own to shame.

    • Baka-Raptor says:

      According to Urban Dictionary, “ash tray” may signify many things, including “The coolest person to ever exist” and “Young women of the Province of Ontario.” Since he used the plural “ash trays,” the only logical conclusion is that he has a fetish for Canadian sloppy seconds.

  9. Dez691 says:

    A wall… of dicks. Wow. Really. This is kind of awesome

  10. Tapir du jour says:

    I think the ‘true sign of a man who lacks genital augmentation’ comment was meant as a compliment. Love of your comment policy led the commenter to infer that you were never in need of surgical or medical enhancement of your reproductive organs. That comment was an obtuse way of saying s/he approves of the natural state of your junk. Even a creepy, overly personal compliment is still a compliment.

  11. Shin says:

    I contributed half of that.

  12. Calaveth says:

    “FIRST”

    Made me laugh.

  13. jcpenguin says:

    There’s no way these are real. Look at how correct the grammar and spelling are. Capitalization, punctuation, and a lack of internet contractions cast suspicion on the authenticity of these comments.

  14. ~xxx says:

    I did the censorship thing in my brain…
    But at least I want to see such comments, but At least I’m am 100,001% positive at that time.

  15. rimi says:

    Who ever said go climb a wall of dicks is forever my hero,
    i can’t stop laughing.

  16. fathomlessblue says:

    And to think I’ve been so negative towards racists/trolls all these years; these comments are fantastic!

    I particularly liked, “what is that brown?” Zing! Try coming back with a counter-argument against that immaculately worded lambasting.

    Now I’m off to tell the first 10 people I see to go climb a wall of dicks… pure poetry.

  17. Michael says:

    Awesome. I’m still looking for something good to send you. 🙂 Congrats!

  18. ZakuAbumi says:

    Man, Baka-Raptor, what a lovely readership you have. Unlike all the gray and huddled masses they do not lack in putting into words what’s in their mind in the slightest.

    “go climb a wall of dicks.”
    This, sir, is a truly splendid way of insulting someone. It’s such a creative way of adressing someone as a faggot that you could call it DEEP. At least it is funny.

    For some reason I imagine you as a show master who makes fun of people who were supposed to make fun of you. Dinosaur no Chikara, is it?

  19. KJacket says:

    I’m guessing these are the better of the censored, and most of them actually are not bad though they might start flame wars.

  20. i guess some of them belong to “race in anime ” post , maddox one is from “naruto filler ” , “first” i guess you censor it most of the time , i wonder “troll elsewhere ” and “blog fail ” is your ” other anime blog sucks ” posts , “kyonko” comment is from haruhi suzumiya fan , well i can guess till that .

    wait , am i doing something wrong by guessing which of these trolls belong to which post ?

  21. I would believe if it wasn’t another infamous April Fool’s Joke… Everybody loves Baka-Raptor, i can’t possibly think of anyone who would disagree with you.

    That stupid Sea Slugs Team only beated Baka-Raptor last year in that ridiculous contest, because they hired kindergarten kids to vote for them in exchange of cheap candies.

    With that being said, i can’t take any of these April Fool’s Filler Joke Posts Seriously.

    Believe it!

  22. dr. feber says:

    you posts suck

    what a suck

    (plis add me in list now)

  23. Let me fuck your ashtrays??? WTF?

  24. Wow. Just wow.

    I think your censored comments just serve to show off some great examples of stupidity.

  25. Hana says:

    “Love how you have to moderate your comments. The true sign of a man who lacks genital augmentation.”

    I remember seeing this one though! You replied to it, shooting most of the same words back at him, I think… unless you went back and deleted it! (No fair!)

  26. Dremlan says:

    http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=7707409&x=wall+of+dicks

    You stole the wall of dicks quote from 4chan (I still don’t believe that these are actual comments, since it was an April Fool’s post).

    But seriously, is anyone here really going to stoop to the level of using a meme from 4chan?

  27. Angel says:

    Trolling never seemed so funny.

  28. Joe says:

    ““Love how you have to moderate your comments. The true sign of a man who lacks genital augmentation.””

    I LOLED, Hard.

    And yes, One Piece rules.
    Everyone who doesn’t like it lacks a functioning genital.

  29. […] also sucked a WHOOOOOLLLELEEE bunch of mule-dick. This movie should go suck a bag of dicks while climbing a wall of dicks, and then do it again. (for the record, I think that seeing someone climb a wall of dicks would be […]

  30. […] also sucked a WHOOOOOLLLELEEE bunch of mule-dick. This movie should go suck a bag of dicks while climbing a wall of dicks, and then do it again. (for the record, I think that seeing someone climb a wall of dicks would be […]

  31. Ebi-kun says:

    I was about to go NERRR RACIST TO INDIANS too, but you are brown, so it may pass. 😀 and anyway, i agree that india kind of sucks.

  32. Ergot says:

    “I guess you don’t know anything about maddox. HE FUCKING HATES ARABS! He hates all foreign culture. What I’m getting at is: he hates you, he hates anime, and he would only be happy if you killed yourself.”

    This guy doesn’t know Maddox because the last one is the only one that’s true.

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