Diary of a Manga Lived: I Saved the World

Many of you have been wondering what I’ve been doing for the past month. In a few words, I was saving the world.

In the 7th month of the year 20XX, the Queen of Terror was sealed in My Balls. To save mankind from total annihilation, I had no choice but to keep myself from ejaculating for the entire month. Some might call me a hero. I have no right to argue. ‘Tis no small feat to triumph where others have tried and failed.

Much like Odysseus had himself tied to the mast of his ship so he couldn’t jerk off to the Sirens, I too found ways to steer clear of temptation, and I kept a diary thereof.

Day 1: Put Dvorak stickers on my keyboard

Day 2. Finished reading A Random Walk Down Wall Street

Day 3. Played Donkey Kong Country

Day 4. Watched about 20 minutes of Mexico vs. Chile soccer, which conveniently covered both Chile goals

Day 5. Went to the Library

Day 6. Backed up my database

Day 7. Watched Jeter ground out to second for the millionth time this season, stuck at 2998 hits

Day 8. Upgraded from PHP 4.4.9 to PHP 5.2.4, upgraded to WordPress 3.2

Day 9. Read an online box score of Jeter’s 5-5, 3000th hit game

Day 10. Took a nap

Day 11. Took another nap

Day 12. Ate shrimp for both lunch and dinner

Day 13. Wrote the first sentence of a new post

Day 14. Picked an opening pic for the new post

Day 15. Thought about writing a second sentence for the new post, ended up taking a nap

Day 16. Went to a barbeque

Day 17. Watched Japan beat the US in women’s soccer

Day 18. Went to jury duty, then went to the DMV

Day 19. Watched two Simpsons episodes

Day 20. Watched two Simpsons episodes and took a nap

Day 21. Got a massage

Day 22. Laughed at other people whining about the heat wave

Day 23. Got a car wash

Day 24. Practiced the Futae no Kiwami on my wall

Day 25. Missed a phone call and actually called back

Day 26. Ran a 5K

Day 27. Went to the Patent Office, listened to Detroit Metal City in the search room

Day 28. Stayed three hours late at work

Day 29. Dropped my mother off at the airport

Day 30. Watched Ron Paul videos for about two hours straight

Day 31. Wrote this post

Thus, the world was saved.

You’re welcome.

UPDATE: Lt. Wargan thanked me with fan art based off my old harem post, thus making everyone else’s thanks worthless by comparison.

UPDATE: I saved the world again in 2013.