Hanners’ Anime ‘Blog is the Worst ‘Blog Ever
Hanners hates his blog. Look no further than his banners. Literally, you cannot look further than his banners.
An actual full-size screenshot of Hanners’ Anime ‘Blog on my 1024×600 netbook
Most bloggers prefer to make banners of shows that don’t suck. Hanners boldly shirks convention.
Hanners hates his blog so much that he made a banner out of Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu, a show he rated a 6 out of 10. Just how bad is a 6? Let’s just say he gave a 7 to Madobe Nanami no Windows 7 de PC Jisaku Ouen Commercial!!, which consists entirely of this one minute and six second video:
Pedophilic mannerisms, a pun on Nana…is Madobe Nanami actually Shizue Nana?
I recently went down to Hanners’ ‘hood and cracked into his secret vault. After nimbly dodging all the lasers and crocodiles, I located his top-secret recipe for making ultra-creative anime blog titles.
- Convert your online handle to the possessive form
- Add “Anime Blog” to the end
- Throw in an extra apostrophe to make it a million times more original than Josh’s Anime Blog, Chikorita157′s Anime Blog, Kurogane’s Anime Blog, Moogy’s Anime Blog, Akemi’s Anime Blog, VoodooMage’s Anime Blog, Gio’s Anime Blog, Neko Kyou’s Anime Blog, and Shiroi Hane’s Anime Blog.
I’d expect no less from an authority on titles. Adding in the “Anime ‘Blog” part was pure genius. Not everyone is smart enough to figure out your website is an anime blog. I’m surprised you didn’t go all out and call it “Hanners’ Anime ‘Blog ‘Site on the ‘Net.” Hanners’ creativity is further evidenced by his choo-choo-choose joke. I’d never even dream of making such a brilliant Simpsons reference, let alone masturbatorily setting it up for myself.
 |
Hanners’ Avatar | Hanners in Real Life |
| Age | 16 | 30 |
| Gender | Female | Male |
| Occupation | Art Student | IT Technician |
| Has | Writing Talent | An Identity Crisis |
If Hanners wanted to lie about his identity, why couldn’t he go with the best character on Hidamari Sketch? Oh yeah, that’s right, Hanners hates his blog.
I thought it was a bit suspicious for one man to express so much self-hatred on his blog, so I did a thorough anagram check to see if his blog was a front for something more insidious:
- A Harems Ennobling
Harems are quite popular with sexually frustrated anime fans. Nothing suspicious here.
- Bargain Hen Melons
I’m always on the lookout for inexpensive chicken breasts.
- Hangnails Boner Me
Still not as sick as mefloraine.
- Hangman Borne Lies
Hanners lies when he plays Hangman? I demand that this be investigated along with his other cheating allegations!
Did I mention he likes K-ON, the worst anime ever?
On a completely unrelated note, I’ve made it to the Round of 32 in some anime blog circle-jerk popularity contest. I have no idea who I’m up against, but regardless of who it is, I ask only that you look deep inside your soul and vote for the more deserving candidate.
Tags: anagrams, cheating is bad, Hanners' Anime 'Blog, i actually kinda like nogizaka haruka no himitsu, meta is bullshit, obscure simpsons reference, or is it?, sleazy attack ads, winning a circle-jerk popularity contest is more important than recovering my eyesight
111 people love sucking up to me
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Holy shit, a comment RSS feed!baka-raptor@baka-raptor.com
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:38 am
Guys, you can
‘ttake someone who still needs the help button on his taskbar to tell him WHICH LANGUAGE HE’S TYPING IN seriously. On a netbook, no less. A NETBOOK. No wonder your eyes are ruined…Oh, and Yoshinoya is
barely inthetop threebest charactersin Hidamari Sketch. So there.[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:01 am
Thank you for agreeing with me. I guess you’re not such a bad guy after all.
Now that’s how you make a Simpsons reference.
(You referring to me.)
[Reply]
Guy Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Frontal attack!
[Reply]
Sai Reply:
July 28th, 2010 at 4:33 am
No Hanners, Netbooks are good, Help button? I think youre having more trouble with your identity crisis.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:43 am
Worst of all, he beat me. He sent me down an abyss so deep only the worms read my blog now. Good thing otou-san rescued WRL from utter ignonimy while I’m left to selling out by posting at T.H.A.T. Anime Blog (breaks your theory btw) and making parody videos of digiboy on his worst day.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:04 am
It’s not my theory; it’s Hanners’ ‘heory.
It could be worse. You could be making parody videos of Hanners.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:55 am
I’M VOTING FOR HANNERS SINCE YOU LEFT ME IN THE DUST
WAAAHH
j/k
Christ, you are so damn funny, B-R. No offense to Hanners, but you’ll probably win with sheer comedy. Hanners is a more serious, kindly person so he has little chance in winning against a dinosaur.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:06 am
Kindly? Hanners? Did you see what slanderous filth he wrote about me?
He’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 am
Avatar has writing Talent. Hanners has identity crisis. Best part ever!
Good luck in your match, and get an iPad, a large monitor, or something to help your eyes. Netbook is not helping. ^ ^
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:12 am
I’m usually working on a 17-inch widescreen laptop in 1440×900 resolution. I only got the netbook for portable use since carrying my monstrosity around caused earthquakes.
[Reply]
Hanners Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:44 am
That’s not really much better.
My ”””””’blog is optimised for 2560×1600.
[Reply]
Chikorita157 Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
It could be alot worse with Smartphones… They have even smaller screens then netbooks and tablets!
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
I’m not even bothering with Smartphones right now. Maybe I will in the future, when I’m rich and the technology advances a little farther. Right now I can’t justify the cost of a data plan. I barely even use my phone for talking. I’ve had it for about 4 years and only have 11 stored numbers, mainly because I hate talking to people and don’t have any friends.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:21 am
Can’t wait to see how you do anagram check on either SeaSlug or Scamp
[Reply]
Scamp Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:42 am
Retard Rich Vet
There, did one for The Cart Driver
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:51 am
And Sea Slug is Ass Glue
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:24 am
and at the end of all this everyone pats each other on the back and the world keeps spinning.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:59 am
Yeah, if I win. Otherwise the sun will explode, consuming all four inner planets in the process.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:38 am
Fucking awesome. Who could not vote for you? I don’t see how it’s possible. Now to check and compare Hanners””’ smack talk.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 6:56 pm
The creator of K-ON probably wouldn’t vote for me. But if he did, it’d be the only funny idea he’d ever come up with in his entire life.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:50 am
I like your Hanners sucks post better than Hanner’s Baka-Raptor sucks post.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 6:57 pm
I’ve been writing “sucks” posts for years. Nobody can out-duel me in a sucks-off.
[Reply]
Epi Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:27 pm
You’re the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:53 am
Voted for you twice already.
Hanners said that you’re the copycat, but when in fact, you started all this “worst anime blog” thing before him, with mefloraine’s post, which btw also was beaten like a chicken in the contest.
nevertheless, one more filler comment, for one more filler post in some filler season in any filler blog around there
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:01 pm
I haven’t even voted for yet. I want to deal the final blow personally.
mefloraine’s been beating chickens for a long time, if you know what I mean. I figured she should learn what it’s like to be on the receiving end.
[Reply]
schneider Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:18 pm
A true warrior!
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 9:57 am
Well played Baka Raptor, well played…
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 2:48 pm
Your move
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:02 am
The anagramation of your opponent’s blog title is by far the best argument to vote against them, haha.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Luckily I’m not going up against Jeremy Irons’ Anime Blog
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:04 am
That man must hate his blog if you say so!
Can’t vote for someone with such self-hatred, nope.
[Reply]
Eri Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I SOOOOO knew you were gonna comment on this post… -_- (No Baka-Raptor I don’t want an award for that)
[Reply]
mefloraine Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 6:24 pm
You assume I don’t comment in some stupid way on every Baka-Raptor post! I just loooove sucking up to this guy! ;D
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:08 pm
You’re dere dere today!
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Too late, the commemorative plaque is already in the mail.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 10:08 am
I really don’t think anyone can beat B-R in this tourney, unless he’s cheated. That’s how unique his blog is. He may be uncouth, his posts may be filler, but all of them are certain to make us laugh. Among the competitors I see 2D-Teleidoscope competing, but ultimately B-R will win. Who else writes like B-R?
With that said, don’t forget to visit me even if you’re popular now, man. ;_;
ALSO, WHERE THE HELL IS MY OPAL MEHTA?
IT WAS DUE FOUR MONTHS AGO.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:31 pm
I ordered a cheap used copy of Opal Mehta just now. I’ll read it (or puke on it), autograph it, and send it to you when I’m done, on the condition that you write a full review of it.
[Reply]
Michael Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 2:40 am
No problem.
I’ll e-mail you my address.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:03 am
Luv u bro!!
Hanners going dooooown.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:32 pm
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
[Reply]
lolikitsune Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 2:42 am
That’s me LOL
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:22 am
I kinda sympathize whoever you are going against. Fighting with a fricking historic omnivore sure isn’t fun. I am quite sure that I will be kicked out of this circle-jerking competition way before I meet you. I swear, if I ever see THAT Anime Blog is the Worst blog ever, I will be in total shame and turn into a mindblogging Impzosaurus.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:46 pm
In theory we could meet in the semi-finals. All you have to do is knock out Star Crossed Anime Blog, which should be a piece of cake.
[Reply]
Theowne Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 2:55 am
Hey, don’t diss Star Crossed. Keep talking like that and I might take my precious vote elsewhere.
…ah, who I am kidding. I’m a brainwashed BR fanboy.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Well played – much more convincing campaign than Hannners! You do not vote against a dinosaur, just wouldnt be right.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:51 pm
A vote for Hanners is a vote for dinoscrimination.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Eww he likes K-on
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Children shouldn’t walk the streets of England with Hanners on the loose.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Hey now, I am seriously thinking about changing the name of my blog lol. I just thought I’d wait until after I get obliterated by Fuzakenna to seriously start the wheels turning in that regard. I know my blog name is horribly unoriginal haha
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:12 pm
If you need help, I can find you some nice anagrams…
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Honestly, K-On has been the deciding factor for me in all the polls where i dont know either person. So if he was going against someone else I would just notic—— WOAH WOAH WOAH
HE….. A male…. like K-ON??????? WTF. I would be concerned about pedo activities.
Anyways this was an easy poll to vote anyways, I’m rooting for you and Glo in the finals. That would be fun. Is it possible? Dunno didn’t check but i think it is.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:15 pm
There’s a good chance I’ll be going up against K-ON lovers no matter how far I make it in the tournament. Sad but true.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Voting against a dinosaur is basically saying you’re rooting for the ephemeral and not something that could stand the test of time. Timelessness is the key to credibility and you’ve certainly got it.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Some people are tools. They have no taste and jump over all the shitty trends, like K-ON, Twilight, and Lady Gaga. That’s life.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 3:39 pm
why isnt baka-raptop running windows 7 i heard its simple and also comfortable to use
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:58 pm
I forgot to put in the screws.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I came for the sideburns and stayed for the anagrams.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 7:59 pm
It’s rare to find them together.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 4:29 pm
FUZAKENNA VS BAKA-RAPTOR FINAL ROUND GO GO GO
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:01 pm
Fuzakenna got only 121 total votes in its latest match. I currently have 140 votes after a mere 13 hours. Fuzakenna isn’t worthy to be my rival.
[Reply]
Robert Weizer Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:16 pm
from a post perspective sure
but from an entertainment perspective I would love to see you two fight like two dogs over a steak
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:33 pm
That won’t happen. We’ll end up fighting like a raptor and a slob over a steak.
[Reply]
digital boy Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 11:42 am
I could kick baka-raptor’s ass in the polls.
[Reply]
Robert Weizer Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 10:46 pm
yeah but since I’m from arizona I can channel the spirit of steve nash to make him win
[Reply]
animekritik Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:48 pm
By that token, you’re not worthy to be Hanners’ rival. Didn’t he get like 800 votes last time?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 12:18 am
Yes, if by “like 800″ you mean 316.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 12:22 am
More stats over at the-blog-soon-to-be-formerly-known-as Josh’s Anime Blog.
[Reply]
June 2nd, 2010 at 8:06 pm
When are you going to change the name of this site to “Baka-Raptor’s Anime Blog”?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 2nd, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Immediately, seeing as how it has the best anagrams ever:
- A Parabola Mobster King
- A Barbarians Kept Gloom
- A Panorama Brisket Glob
- A Pro Lasagna Bomber Kit
- A Rib Lasagna Poker Tomb
The list is endless!
[Reply]
June 3rd, 2010 at 3:20 am
He hates his blog + shitty banners + loves K-ON + (used to) have a blog title with “anime blog”
lol are you talking about me?
Also, I’m glad someone still using an old version of Windows… and a netbook.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 12:57 pm
No way I’m talking about you. You have a blog, not a ‘blog.
My netbook kicks ass. 10.5-hour battery life. Second best computer purchase I’ve ever made.
[Reply]
June 3rd, 2010 at 5:04 am
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
anyways, I still keep up with the sideburns and the overly-crashed criticisms of yours.
People hate their blogs because they had nothing to type…HAHAHAHAHAH!
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Until the evil scourge known as Hanners is vanquished, I kindly request that you limit the number of HA’s on my blog.
[Reply]
June 3rd, 2010 at 3:31 pm
“After nimbly dodging all the lasers and crocodiles…”
But the question is – were they fireproof crocodiles?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 3rd, 2010 at 4:54 pm
They switch between different elemental strengths throughout the course of the battle. Once you memorize their attack patterns and realize that their eye color gives away their current state, they’re pretty easy to deal with.
[Reply]
June 3rd, 2010 at 7:02 pm
[...] First, Hanners’ Anime Blog: [...]
June 3rd, 2010 at 11:43 pm
I must politely disagree. Miyako is the best character in Hidamari Sketch, dear Raptor.
[Reply]
Robert Weizer Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 3:05 am
the only thing hidamari sketch is good for: sweet bro and hella jeff edits
[Reply]
June 4th, 2010 at 6:08 am
I sent you my address. Thank you for my birthday gift!
<3
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
You’re welcome. Now you owe me a birthday present of equal or greater value.
[Reply]
Michael Reply:
June 5th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
BUT I VOTED FOR YOU! <3
All the way <3
[Reply]
June 4th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
I thought his blog name was creative…
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Got a fetish for apostrophes?
[Reply]
June 4th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
I don’t even bother to look who are you up against. You are a default.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
I don’t bother to look up who I’m against either. I am a default.
[Reply]
June 4th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
i see. so this is just another one of those vote for me posts. you pretty desperate to win huh?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Why, that would be unethical! I never told anyone to vote for me! I urge all voters to toss their loyalties aside and select the best candidate.
[Reply]
June 4th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Netbooks are a horrible web browsing experience… Just use a regular laptop for god sake and big banners make me cry…. especially on a 1024×768 resolution!
By the way, I voted for you…
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
Web browsing? You misunderstand. Netbooks are for people who, you know, work, and don’t feel like looking for a power outlet everywhere they go.
[Reply]
Chikorita157 Reply:
June 4th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
I have a laptop for that and I think Netbooks are dumb since they are underpowered and my laptop is only a few more pounds more than a netbook… and a smartphone is more portable. If you compare a Smartphone vs a Netbook, which one is more usable while you walk or standing without siting down or lying it on a flat surface… The choice is obvious…
Of course, Smartphones burn out your eyes alot quicker after prolonged since the text is even smaller!
This is my counterargument -> http://www.joeydevilla.com/2009/05/26/fast-food-apple-pies-and-why-netbooks-suck/
[Reply]
June 5th, 2010 at 12:16 am
I voted for Baka-Raptor, based on Baka-Raptor being Baka-Raptor.
That’s sorta like Rickie being Rickie. ((and yes, I’m referring to Rickie Weeks and not Ricky Henderson)).
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 5th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
…I shall take that as a compliment.
[Reply]
June 5th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
I’d vote for you, really, but it seems like a hassle, and I’m a slacker, so
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 5th, 2010 at 1:09 pm
To be fair, I haven’t voted yet either.
[Reply]
June 6th, 2010 at 8:50 am
Oh, Baka-Raptor, ever the headhunter. Hopefully this logical assault would bring some tactical advantages in the future.
Hopefully…
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 8th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
This isn’t about tactical advantages. This is about the truth.
[Reply]
June 6th, 2010 at 11:09 pm
Why is Rumiko Takahashi winning the evil people poll?
Haven’t you people ever watched Maison Ikkoku?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 8th, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Oh, I watched Maison Ikkoku all right. It’s a perfect example of why Rumiko Takahashi is evil. She makes us like the show, and then she throws shit in our faces. Then he makes us like the show again, and then she throws shit in our faces again. It never ends.
[Reply]
June 7th, 2010 at 11:41 am
[...] is the worst blog now (literally)? Anyways, here is a cake for this celebration! Good luck on the next round! [...]
June 7th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Congrats on beating the “Worst Blog Ever” You should be proud. :p
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 8th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Yeah, I beat Paper Flower a while back. It felt good.
[Reply]
June 8th, 2010 at 4:45 am
Congratulations.
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 8th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
I appreciate the thought, but next time be a bit more punctual. Beating Paper Flower is old news.
[Reply]
June 9th, 2010 at 12:45 am
i think if you implemented some animated GIFs, webring links, bad java, and embedded music you’d win the tourney
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 3:39 am
Congratulations on spoiling next year’s April Fool’s joke.
[Reply]
Robert Weizer Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
I’m still waiting for all your hyperlinks to be orange. Thus far you have disappointed me.
[Reply]
June 10th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
how is baka-raptorina?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 3:40 am
Straight
[Reply]
June 11th, 2010 at 2:25 am
Sea slugs time. This match up is going to be epic!
I adore SS!AB, but then, it won’t be as fun to see you look down at all the crappy blogs (since by definition, all anime blogs except Baka-raptor is crap) out there.
Dilemmas and decisions.
Can I get a “Just barely omitted as the Worst Anime Blog” if I vote for you next round?
[Reply]
Baka-Raptor Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 3:41 am
No. You owe me a vote and I owe you nothing. Don’t remember why? My next post should jog your memory.
[Reply]
June 15th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
[...] the rapist and the liar left their Twitter pages publicly open. Kabitzin’s deviance was clearly in a league of its [...]