The Three Best Anime Series of 2009

Why 2009? I’m always a few seasons behind. See what I did there? Could my post order be any more strategic?

If you’re not satisfied with that explanation, consider this: if this post only contained series from 2009 that I finished in 2009, it would include Queen’s Blade.

This list only includes series. Movies, OVAs, and the like were not considered, which is perfectly fine by me, since series are always better than movies and OVAs, except when movies and OVAs masquerade as series themselves.

For the record, I’ve seen every anime, so if a particular title you were expecting doesn’t appear on this list, it’s because I objectively and subjectively hate it, which should temporarily and permanently scar you emotionally and physically.

First Place: Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

To review a show this good, it’s easiest to start from perfection and knock it for few flaws that come to mind:

Everything else is perfect.

Final Grade: +++

Status in 2009: It started with recap. Then came the Xing characters, who were irrelevant and annoying until 2010. I wasn’t fully into the series until episode 28, the first showdown with Father, which aired in late October.

Second Place: Umineko no Naku Koro ni

Something is terribly backwards in fandom when you’re considered a troll for saying you love Umineko and hate K-ON. Umineko is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. The red-letter concept alone was more creative than certain entire episodes of K-ON. No one denies this.

But Baka-Raptor, the anime wasn’t brilliant, the visual novel was!

Do I even need to respond to this? I didn’t play the visual novel. Most anime viewers didn’t play the visual novel. I’ve watched dozens of VN adaptations without playing the underlying VNs or even knowing they were based off VNs in the first place. Do you think I care what the VN was like? All I know is that I watched an anime with a killer plot that had me hooked from beginning to end.

My biggest complaint about the show is that it spent too much time on the magic. If the magic doesn’t matter in the end, we don’t need to spend lengthy segments on the details of the bunny maids and goat butlers doing their magic tricks. I assume this is a consequence of being too loyal to the VN, a medium in which you don’t have to worry about pointless bullshit eating up time. Just make it quick and move on with the plot.

Status in 2009: The best show from 2009 I completed in 2009. My only regret is that I may have watched it too early. Unlike Higurashi, Umineko didn’t offer any solutions in its first season. I’ll have to rewatch it to get reacquainted with the details of the murders for the second season whenever it comes out.

Final Grade: ++

Third Place: Cross Game

Cross Game is Touch all over again, with the following minor changes:

  • It’s only half as long but has better pacing
  • The female lead is now a tsundere
  • The male lead looks like a girl and isn’t lazy
  • The character who tragically dies is spoiler2 instead of spoiler1
  • Touch has actual twins, while Cross Game has prostitwins*
  • Cross Game doesn’t ignore romantic development for 50 straight episodes
  • Punch the dog was replaced by Nomo the cat
  • Punch never had a drawing song
  • Cross Game doesn’t have the worst intro effects in the universe
  • The badass coach gets thrown out of town instead of heroically leading the team to the title

In sum, it’s a sissier, more romantic version of Touch. Awesome nonetheless, and full of Adachi’s wit, but real men would agree that Touch is better.

*Prostitwin is one of my ideas for a TV Trope. It’s when you come across someone who looks exactly like your true love and tempts you. The prostitwin never wins. Other prostitwins are found in Tytania and Full Metal Panic: The Second Raid, both of whom are actual prostitutes (which isn’t required for the trope but never hurts). Inform me of others as you find them, or let me know if this trope already exists.

Final Grade: ++

Status in 2009: Watched every week, or so I thought. Well after the series was over, as I was writing my post on Asami Mizuki, I couldn’t remember who the Old Man was. He turned out to be from an early filler episode I inadvertently skipped. I am such a dojikko.

Honorable Mention: Birdy the Mighty Decode: 02

The first season was good, but it was the standard kind of good we’ve come to expect from anime. The second season delivered something spectacular. Maybe they had a bigger budget this time around. For example, there was a perfect Mamiko Noto role in the first season, but I’m guessing they couldn’t afford her, so they had to settle for Maaya Sakamoto. They were able to bring Noto in for the second season to play a robot without feelings. I can’t believe it either. For the first time in the history of science-fiction, a robot suspected of having feelings turned out not to have feelings after all. I stand corrected.

The second season improved pretty much everything you’d want to improve over the first season:

  • Center the main relationship around Birdy instead of her generic teenage male lead counterpart
  • More graphic violence
  • Themes of hatred/suffering/revenge
  • More of the recurring random yakuza in white suits
  • Possible reference to Detroit Metal City on a building in the background (forgot to take a screenshot)
  • Time travel
  • More Arita Shion (the look, not the annoying voice)

Two major complaints. First, the animation of the fight scenes got so artsy at times you couldn’t tell what was going. Second, they could’ve nailed the ending. Absolutely nailed it shut. Instead, they decided to leave some things open.

Final Grade: ++

Status in 2009: Didn’t watch it. Saw the first few episodes of the first season in 2008. Then it got licensed and the subbing stopped. Found and watched both seasons on Hulu earlier this year.

74 Replies to “The Three Best Anime Series of 2009”

  1. Canaan, Bakemonogatari, and the second half of Toradora.

    Anyway, that’s by far the best endorsement of the Umineko anime I’ve seen. My friends love it and want me to watch it but have never instilled much sense of urgency in my to do so. OH DESIRE, however, should honestly be more than enough reason.

    • I was originally going to make this a Top 5, but my eyes started dying, so I made it a Top 3 + Honorable Mention. The fifth spot would’ve gone to Trapeze. I didn’t think any farther down than that. I generally don’t care for rankings. I only wrote this post because last year I was trying to list all the anime I saw that year that were better than Queen’s Blade. Surprisingly not too many at the time.

      Canaan was good, but I didn’t like it until the middle (the complete opposite reaction of most people). I just finished Bakemonogatari a few months ago. I gave it the ++, but I liked it for the style and fluff instead of the substance. In other words, I liked for reasons you like anime, which is extremely disconcerting.

      I definitely recommend Umineko in some form. It’s your call whether to go anime or VN.

      • Didn’t watch any Toradora? There’s one more for your backlog. Trapeze would definitely be somewhere in my tops for 09 as well.

        As for Umineko, I still haven’t gotten more than a half hour through the Higurashi VN, and I am not watching any pre-2010 anime until at least 2011 so we’ll see how that all plays out.

  2. I like what you said about Umineko and VN’s. I generally feel the same way when someone tells me a manga is better than it’s anime. If I cared I would read manga!

    I think I’m going to like Touch more than Cross Game just going by what you wrote XD Birdy I simply love no matter its flaws 😛

    • I didn’t even know what VNs were until about four years ago. Didn’t play one until last year (Fate/Stay Night, I really need to review it). I see what all the fuss is about, but those things are LONG. An anime is naturally going to cut a lot of things out and change stuff up. That’s a good thing.

      Touch has this guy. What’s not to like?

      • I suggest you read Saya no Uta. It’s the only VN I thought was good and it only takes about 3-4 hours reading time to finish all routes.

  3. It must’ve been pretty hard for Adachi to try and top Kashiwaba. There aren’t many things more awesome than a sunglasses wearing man beating people up with sticks. I guess she(he?) gave up in the end and decided to settle for a series not as great as Touch but still good.
    I agree on Umineko, it was a good show. I watched it all in 2 days and thought the ending was horrible. Battler just repeated what he was saying for the rest of the series, and said one new thing which didn’t even make sense. Umineko wasn’t really about the story though, it was more about the awesomeness, and it had a lot of awesomeness even if the story didn’t make a lot of sense.

    • I’m confident that the story will fall into place once the solutions are presented. Right now it’s supposed to be a mess. It’s a mystery after all. Unfortunately, that’s also why Battler has been so damn useless so far. At the end of each arc, he acts all tough like he’s going to solve everything (“slice up those cow tits and make me a sandwich” comes to mind). Then he’s useless again at the beginning of the next arc because we’re moving onto a new mystery instead of the solution. So many awesome moments though.

      Adachi is male, in the Japanese sense of the word.

    • Kiddish? You’re talking to a guy who likes You Are Umasou. Don’t be fooled by the drawing song though. The rest of the show isn’t about little girls singing about drawing cats.

      The fight scenes in Birdy II kicked ass when they weren’t artsy. I was sitting back, enjoying the episode, thinking, “oh boy, a fight scene, how delightful, HOLY SHIT HE JUST RIPPED A KID’S ARM OFF!!!!!”

  4. Birdy S2 has another fan? Wow, I thought only a few dozen people bothered watching it, and most of them were too focused on the two or three unfinished/odd scenes in the original TV airing to notice the severe overdoses of pure win and complete awesome.

      • Well, unfinished in terms of messy animation. There were a couple of key fights that devolved into messy geometric shapes and such, akin to rough-drafts of the animation. Apparently they ran out of time or money (or both) before the air date, much like Shinbo usually does. Oddly, those scenes had enough “raw emotion” to be able to take it as extreme artistic merit at the time, but apparently that was enough to basically ruin the whole show for some people.

  5. Umineko annoyed me since, honestly, I wasn’t really expecting the whole magic angle. I would’ve enjoyed it much more as a straightforward mystery sans the supernatural elements. But Beatrice was pretty AWESOME. And the OP was epic. It was much better overall, at the very least, than K-ON!.

    • I wouldn’t mind the supernatural angle if the show didn’t get so carried away with it. We didn’t need it to be so thoroughly detailed (or did we? I’m assuming not). Just say the sisters or the bunnies or the goats killed them. Make it snappy. Show the rooms they’re in, what sounds they made, what windows were open, etc. The end. No extended chanting, no flying jellybean cakes, none of that crap.

  6. Brotherhood is easily the best. Umineko is clearly awesome. I’ve yet to see Cross Game. In fact, I can’t remember anything else from 2009, so your list is flawless.

    I guess it’s finally time to watch Birdy the Mighty Decode.

      • So far I’ve finished zero of those. But I did finish all other things probably. I’m halfway done with Berserk, and plan on finishing it this week, which is what I say every week. Expect a post in a few months.

        Aria is soooooo borrriingggggg.

        • Aria is boring at first, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a lying pedophile. However, if you force yourself through a whole season, it’ll be good. Trust me. You’ve watched much crappier shows than this. There’s no way you can’t survive Aria. In fact, when I beat you in the fantasy football finals, I’ll MAKE you watch Aria.

  7. But…but…but…Umineko was dreadful! I couldn’t give a shit about the VN’s either, but lord that show didn’t have a clue what it was doing. It was entertaining for all the wrong reasons.


    • Care to explain? Better yet, care to link to a post that explains without resorting to “LOL DEEN ADAPTATION” or “this doesn’t make any sense even though it’s a mystery and by design isn’t supposed to make sense”?

      • I could have sworn I wrote a full Umineko post, but apparently all I wrote were a bunch of monthly roundups and a post where I told VN fans to shut the hell up, ironically the one thing I agreed with you in this post. But the flaws from what I can remember were

        1: Characters are one-dimensional and they drive this single dimension in your face in every scene they’re in. Maria is an annoying brat? Great, lets have 5 minutes of her uuu~ing. Rosa is a shitty mum? Lets devote 2 episodes to her destroying Marias toys and saying how much she hates her. Which leads into the second point
        2: Not an ounce of subtlety. Endless barrages of how craaaaaazy Beatrice is. Beating points into the ground time after time, managing to overkill depicting overkill.
        3: No intelligence in the writing at all. Plot twists came out of nowhere with no foreshadowing. Hey, let’s introduce goat warriors now. Oh and how about some magical demons of the 7 cardinal sins or whatever the hell it felt like throwing in.
        4: Logic? pfft~! I built some magical towers that were hidden behind some trees? Seeing as this series lurves to show how logical it is, how much of the logic was founded on such incidental facts that they made up out of nowhere?
        5: Foundation of the entire story was based on this piece of dialogue
        Battler: I’ll believe in a witch when I see one
        Beatrice: *poof* Hi, I’m a witch
        Battler:…I don’t believe you!
        6: Did I mention stupid writing? Battler meeting his cousin and wanting to grope them, which is pretty much all their relationship boiled down to. Spending an entire arc building up Moetrice’s plan only to instantly spill the beans at the very first sign of hesitation from Battler
        7: Mysteries are supposed to make sense. You should be able to predict yourself what could happen, and counter the logic in the series itself. Battler and Beatrice’s arguments made up laws on the spot, running off their own fuzzy logic made the logic the series prided itself in stupid

        I mean sure, it’s entertaining, but for all the wrong reasons. I laughed at Umineko, not with it.

        /long comment

        • That was probably a good post, but now I don’t remember, because it got overshadowed by the (presumably unintentional) hilarity of the Letter Bee links below.

          1. Oh no, not a one-dimensional little girl. I hope somebody got fired for that irregularity. A few moments of character development actually hit me quite hard, like when Rosa snapped out of beating Maria on the train (a scene so powerful I rewatched it several times), but overall, I’d agree that character development was below average, but I’d also say it was far from dreadful. I’ll also say that it never bothered me, given that it’s such a large cast, and they all die. It’s also a mystery, not to say that character development doesn’t matter, but it doesn’t matter nearly as much as how well that characters hide how they kill each other.

          2. Good, I like crazy. I thought there was overkill in the detail and length Beatrice’s crazy scenes but not the degree of them. That’s part of the Naku Koro Ni charm.

          3-4. If you’re talking about the magic, that was all stupid. Everything else, i.e., the stuff that mattered for the purposes of solving the mystery, was brilliant. For example, can you really tell me the scene I took a screencap of above wasn’t intelligent? One and a half years later I still can’t get over how slick that was. They put off that move to lull you into thinking they couldn’t make it. Then they made it unexpectedly after killing her. Holy shit.

          5. Eh, it’s easy enough to rationalize that into some form of “he believes he sees her but doesn’t believe she committed the murders” or something like that.

          6. Character A doesn’t really care about Character B. That’s how most people are toward each other in life. In any case, it was an inconsequential relationship toward the mystery. And I believe Ange came crashing down on Moetrice. There was nothing she could do.

          7. Mysteries aren’t supposed to make sense when they’re only halfway done. Remember how long it took to find the true killer in Higurashi? For some of the micro mysteries, like the closed door murders, we may already have enough to solve them, or perhaps the key is to think of the right question or red-letter phrase for Beatrice. We’ll find out eventually, and if it’s something stupid, I’ll be as mad as anyone.

          • One of those Letter Bee posts was about a Christmas episode that actually aired *gasp* at Christmas!!! So I was sucked in by goodwill and fake beards enough to ignore the obvious flaws that became painfully clear again in the next episode.

            1) It matters because you have to sorta care when the characters die. Not in an emotionally connecting sorta way, but at least understand what it means now they’re dead and stuff. All it ended up meaning was reasons for Beatrice and Battler to bitch about rules they made up themselves. It was more fun when they came up with imaginative ways for them to die than what them dying means, like being flattened by a giant cake. Which I suppose was part of the point of the series so I can’t rattle on it for that too much.
            2) I haven’t watched Higurashi yet so maybe I’m inherantly not a fan of that genre, but I generally hate it when a story insists of banging the same point over your head over and over again. Umineko had that in spades
            3-4) I don’t even remember said scene. It was one of those many red letter blue letter scenes where they made up rules on the spot that all started to blend into my mind as one big dramatic finger pointing session
            5) Nope. The series hinges on the fact that he doesn’t believe in magic. It makes a massive point out of that which, like every other point the series likes to make, hits you over the head with said point repeatedly. That point in particular beyond probably everything else was why I had such a problem taking the series seriously. The central plot point of the series involved a character being selective in his logic engine in a show that touted logic games as its main selling point.
            6) Beatrice spilled the beans before Ange entered the room. Battler was standing around looking rather confused that Beatrice had decided to spurt out her brilliant plan and then Ange came in and told him it was all a lie, which Beatrice had basically just told him anyway
            7) Umineko won’t get a sequel. While we both clearly don’t care about the source material, the fact is the Japanese did and hated what it changed, enough to not spend any money on it whatsoever. So nope, there will be no sequel for Umineko. Unless you play the games…

            heh, this is fun! As I found out searching through my blog archives, I never gave myself the oppertunity to truly rip into this anime. So thanks for that Baka-Raptor, even if that wasn’t your intention with the post in the first place

            • I never gave Umineko a proper review either. A major reason is because I don’t like reviewing incomplete works. I’m also not cruel enough to recommend a first season just to make everyone wait on a second season. But if there won’t be a second season, I guess there was no need to hold back.

              3-4) Dude, that was arguably the most important moment in the entire show. It proved that the killer was one of them. If you weren’t paying attention, it’s no wonder you didn’t like the show.

              5) While it’s a contradictory premise, it’s something you can work your way around. Now, I’m not a fan of that. I believe it’s the job of the anime to present itself in an enjoyable manner, not the job of the viewer to hit himself over the head until the anime becomes enjoyable. However, sometimes you miss out on good stuff if you don’t.

              6) I just pulled up episode 18. Before Ange entered the room, Beatrice made suspicious faces and tried to make Battler sign a parchment. Battler was reluctant but didn’t figure anything out. It still took a few lines from Ange before Battler figured it out. Then Beatrice confessed to being “tsun” and then “dere”.

  8. I’ve watched only Fullmetal Alchemist among this list.I guess I’ll try out the remaining one’s later as such I am full of to sees now!I’ve started with Monster (I agree,I should have started earlier) and it’s a great show!I always read you mentioning about Touch in all your post….is it THAT great?I’d give it a try if not for its 100+ epis.

    • At one point I considered Touch my favorite anime. This was six years ago, and it quickly fell down the ranks, but yes, it is that good. I’d say Monster is better though.

  9. While I haven’t really watched much of FMA: Brotherhood, I have to agree with it on the principle that it follows the manga and I love the manga obsessively.

    Umineko is on my To Watch list, whereas uh…I’ve never heard of the other one.

  10. I don’t think a single character has ever lowered my opinion of an anime as badly as Ange did in Umineko. Umineko was my second favorite series from last year (Right after Book of Bantorra) up until Ange’s storyline started. While I don’t HATE Umineko, and I still love everything that came before that last story arc, Ange really fouled up that anime. At least she got what was coming to her in the end and allowed the anime to wrap up awesomely.

    And I really don’t care about not knowing the truth behind the mystery. It’s all just an excuse for Battler and Beatrice to flirt with each other over the corpses of their friends and family. It’s one big romantic comedy, with ritualistic murders replacing the gay roommate or sassy black woman as the catalyst for the relationship.

    • Ange and her magic story were even more annoying and wound-out in the novels, and I’m annoyed that they wasted so much time on it in the anime instead of focusing on one of the less boring paralell storylines. Too bad people who are annoyed by Ange are in the minority :/.

      But having that annoyingly long story and a few other things that went over-the-top cut at all was one of several benefits of the anime. And if you don’t mind the flanderized characters and relationships, which keeps it from being as good as the awesome Higurashi – a much worse adaptation, for the record – the plot was actually pretty well done on its own. No need to read the novels if you liked the anime the way it was.

      For those that do want to know the answers…unfortunately the DVD sales were horrible, and saying that is almost being nice. You can keep waiting for Chiru/the sequel but it’s probably not going to come :/.

      • If an anime won’t come out, you bet I’ll be playing the VN. I even plan on playing the Higurashi VN someday to go after a few obscure details the anime didn’t cover to my satisfaction. I demand answers.

    • I’m surprised you hate Ange THAT much. I can usually tell a hated character from a mile away. While I didn’t care for her back story of dabbling in witchcraft, I did like her surviving family member/suicide/Battler’s corner role, especially since Battler was totally useless on his own. Some characters are both unlikeable and useless. At least Ange wasn’t useless.

  11. Brotherhood was obviously amazing. But i think that was expected.

    Honestly i have been out of it for a while, and I haven’t heard much about Umineko no Naku Koro ni…. but it looks pretty cool so i think I will give it a shot. Any word on the second season?

    • According to some of these other guys, a second season will never happen due to poor DVD sales. You might still like it, but if you want answers, looks like you’ll have to play the visual novel. You might not be able to picture yourself doing that, but neither could I several years ago.

  12. Only two series deserves the +++ rating ? This past season of 2009/2010 was sure a lame season after all…

    guess i wasn’t missing anything besides the real star, that is, without doubt, The Greatest Anime of The Whole Known and Unknown Universe: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood.

    Who are your predictions for the big winner of the next season of 2010/2011 ? or perhaps your next season starts at 2010/2010… now i’m all confused about it…


    • There are usually only one or two +++ shows per year. I’ve only handed out 17 ever (and some were to movies/ovas). It’s the ++ shows that determine how great a year is.

      Here are my predictions:

  13. I read the FMA Manga, and five bucks says I’ll do what I did with Ippo and watch most of the show but about 3/4 of the way in I’ll crap out and focus on other stuff.

    Right now Gintama has managed to maintain my attention to the point where I watch it every day, sometimes 2-4 times a day.

  14. I love Umineko even though I read the VN…watched the first three arcs of Umineko, read all of the VNs, then continued to watch Umineko. Never got the dislike of the anime at all, because the VN is filled with really long boring passages (only some of which are needed to solve the mystery). Other than that its a ton of fun.

    • This is really dampening my enthusiasm for potentially reading the VN. Despite bashing the VN elitists, I’ve been hoping that the VN is indeed far superior to the anime. I mean, why would I want the opposite? But long boring passages are not the bone of my sword.

      • You can always do what I did. Hit control to fast forward to when they start discussing something interesting again. Since you saw the anime you can fast forward through all the Ange/Maria parts in Episode 4 (the nadir of Umineko’s entertainment levels, imho).

        If you can handle Fate/stay night you can handle Umineko for sure. And I’d still say that the VN is superior to the anime once you actually get into the mystery. Its the few hours of wandering about the mansion discussing George’s love life and the rose garden and the portrait and Maria’s witch obsession that I find a bit dull.

  15. “This list only includes series. Movies, OVAs, and the like were not considered, which is perfectly fine by me, since series are always better than movies and OVAs, except when movies and OVAs masquerade as series themselves.”

    So…Kara no Kyoukai? Seven movies (with the last one from 2009!) so it was basically a series, and music by Kajiura Yuki!

    Bonus irony points: plot of the final movie dealt with masquerades. Heh.

    • Yup. Another one that comes to mind is Legend of the Galactic Heroes, an 110-episode OVA for some reason.

      I don’t need to turn to anime to get great movies. I do need anime to get great continuous series.

  16. You’re a sensible man baka-raptor. I too had only played Fate Stay Night and it was one of the greatest things I’ve ever read in the course of my life. (more insight into people’s emotions than the lulzy and terribly written great gatsby in my junior year of highschool.)

    So, to you, I recommend another non-generic VN that is english fanslated by taka-jun (the badass who trasnlated fate stay night/everything type-moon) —>

    trust me, this is right up your alley, and while it may not be as LONG as fate/stay night, this is the kind of VN that I can see you posting great blogs over. Also, I have visions at night of how great an anime it could be. REALLY.

    • This is just about the perfect way to recommend something to me, for reasons I shall not disclose lest others abuse the formula. Whenever my eyes get better, I shall play/read/consume this VN.

      • Then I wish them a speedy recovery. If I could erase my memory to read the VN again, I would do so countless times–thats how good i think it is.

        Furthermore, your top picks are awesome, FMA and Birdy 2 rock.
        You don’t know how awesome it felt to watch the ice climber get pulverized with a giant slab of cement.

        Oh wait, you do since you saw it too!

  17. Whaaat – no bishies with hair in their eyes talking about their feelings?! 🙁

    (FMA Brotherhood does sound great though, guess I won’t bother finishing the original anime series (don’t think I got that far anyway), seeing as this one seems to pretty much own that. Thanks for the rec.).

  18. I guess this means I’ll have to start watching Cross Game. Normally I avoid sport-related anime like the plague (other than Touch and Slam Dunk), but if Baka Raptor recommends it, it can’t be that bad. (…Right?)

    In oher news, they’re making a live-action of Gantz. (I’ll probably only watch it to see stuff blow up.)

    • If you don’t like Cross Game, I have a whole bunch of scapegoats lined up, so you won’t ever have to hate me.

      I heard the Gantz movie is showing in NYC. I may head over to watch it. If so, it’ll be the first movie I’ll see in a theater in nearly 2 years. Death Note II was that scarring.

      • It’s too bad that the only way I could get to NYC is if I suddenly develop powers to crush mountains and drain rivers. And the ability to afford plane tickets. (Bleh, I’ll probably watch it online.) The last time i went to a movie theater was to see the first Bleach movie. I probably would’ve enjoyed it more if I didn’t sit next to a fat guy who smelled like old fish.

        Live action + Death Note = No.

  19. […] Eye Sedso (Michael Vick, Calvin Johnson, Chris Johnson): Glo had a mediocre record in the league overall, but it was the team that posed the greatest threat to me. He never figured out why because he’s a stupid art student, but anyone with a basic understanding of statistics can put it together. My QB was Aaron Rodgers; he had Greg Jennings (who he didn’t play in the finals, even after seeing how I OWNED Shinmaru by playing my Vincent Jackson over his Philip Rivers). My top WR and RB were Roddy White and Michael Turner; he had Matt Bryant, the Falcons kicker. Get it yet? Points going to my top QB, WR, and RB were being sucked away by players on his team. Meanwhile, he had explosive players in Michael Vick and Chris Johnson to make up the difference. It was like he’d tailored the perfect team to destroy me, except he was too engrossed watching Motto To Love-Ru to realize it. I honestly thought he was paying attention during Week 6, when his team named “Rape” defeated my team named “Public Rape.” Oh well. Now he has to watch Aria as punishment. […]

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